Varsity Blues (1999) / Fordson: Faith, Fasting, Football (2011)

I've never been much of a football fan. In high school I went to one game, I think, and I have no memory of who we were playing or who won. I think I was at the school for something else and my friends and I were all "I guess we should go? We're already here?" Keep in mind, everything we said at that time ended with a question mark.

The movie Varsity Blues came out when I was a sophomore. It was a big deal in a pop culture sense because it was James Van Der Beek's first feature role since the debut of Dawson's Creek on the WB network. I was once told (favorably) that I looked like Dawson, which may have been the inciting incident to my lifelong tracking of The Beek's career. However, I opted not to see the movie when it came out for a few reasons. First, it was rated R, so there was a perceived obstacle with the age restriction (the lack of interest in football in my circle of friends should give you an idea of our squareness). Second, the advertising made the movie look really dumb. Say it with me now: "I don't want. Yer lahf."

Sadly, this movie did not impress. It's your basic Texas football story: Football = God, the coach is an asshole, and the lead is an underdog of sorts. There's no twist on the formula and there's really not much going on in the town of West Canaan. The central conflict involves Mox (Van Der Beek) coping with his new celebrity status as the replacement quarterback after the first string busts his leg. Now Mox has to work more closely with the coach (Jon Voight) who hates him, fend off the advances of the whipped-cream-bikini-clad lead cheerleader (Ali Larter, who should not be cast in anything), and making sure the other players achieve their high school football hopes and dreams. Eh. We're forced to believe that Mox's life is so hard, you guys. However, his plain Jane girlfriend calls him a whiner (which he is) and basically says "if things suck so much, why don't you just quit?" I guess the moral is along the lines of "triumph through adversity," but things aren't really adverse even in the hyperbolic high school student sense.

The biggest obstacle for me with Varsity Blues is that it did not represent my high school experience at all. A film that gets about as close as any film can in emulating my experience is the 2011 documentary Fordson: Faith, Fasting, Football. I graduated from Fordson in 2001, three months before 9/11. This relationship bears significance because when I attended the school its population was approximately 85% Middle Eastern descent. Today, that number is closer to 95%. If the setting sounds familiar, the TLC series All-American Muslim took place in Dearborn and featured the same football team as one of the story arcs.

What this movie did much better than the show was provide a major social history before presenting the main narrative. Dearborn, MI was a struggling company town that has since thrived as more families moved into the area and expanded. The movie also attempted to highlight the class disparities within the town – Fordson is in the blue collar east end while rival Dearborn High is in the affluent west end. The attempts aren't a complete success, as the vehicular conspicuous consumption (sports cars and Hummers are not uncommon sights on Warren Ave) is not explained at all.

I understand from a story perspective why football was used as the focus. Football is a distinctly American game, and the purpose of the film is to show that Arab-Americans are just as American as any other demonym-Americans. The Fordson/Dearborn rivalry is one that has existed for decades and places Fordson as an underdog both from a class perspective and as the recipients of bad calls from referees. Also, a sport is much more visually interesting than, say, a person trying to open yet another restaurant in the city (which was a story arc from the reality series). However, the "Big Game" is the weakest part of the film. Despite the bad calls, Fordson won the game in a blowout, continue a long string of wins against the cakeeaters Pioneers.

I fully recommend Fordson to anyone who knows my hometown, because even though I was born and raised there I felt like I still learned something from the documentary. For people that I know personally, I would like to offer this movie as a primer of my background because there is no way I had the "typical high school experience," and I sometimes think people think I'm making stuff up (yes, our mascot really was a tractor). That being said, for just a general viewer randomly flipping through Netflix, I think the movie may be met with the same "so what?" All-American Muslim received. Which is a shame.

Brave (2012)

The Incredibles is my all-time favorite Pixar movie. After seeing Brave and thinking about the ballyhoo regarding the roles female characters typically play in Disney films, I wondered why Helen and Violet Parr have not come up in the conversation. Merida, the skinned-kneed princess at the center of Pixar's latest feature, may be a step forward for strong female characters, but that's after two steps back that somehow happened between the release of The Incredibles and this movie.

Many critics' pre-release concerns about Brave focused on if this was a story about a princess and a suitor and whether or not the film would forego those conventions. Although Merida's behavior suggests a fierce sense of independence, I found she lacked agency, which is the foundation of the conventions this film may (or may not) have attempted to defy. In the opening moments of the film, younger Merida stumbles upon a Will o' the Wisp in a nearby forest. When she shares the news of her discovery, she is told the wisps usually lead followers to their fate. The wisps become MacGuffins ex machina throughout the film, leading Merida from one story bullet point to the next. The only real choice Merida makes in the movie is at the witch's house (where wisps led her) in asking for a spell to change her fate. In other words, Merida wants her agency handled by a different agent.

As I drove home from the theater, I kept thinking about Helen Parr/Elastigirl and the choices she made in The Incredibles. Helen chose to honor the rules about going undercover, leading to a reasonably nice family life. She then chose to don her super suit to rescue her husband – there was no prophecy or fate at play. Violet's journey through the movie involved her exploring her own agency. Although she felt invisible (both figuratively and literally) at the beginning of the story, she learned how to utilize her power to everyone's benefit. Merida does come around to seeing things from her mom's point of view at the end of Brave, but the outcome is still what was expected of her: to become a "proper" princess and eventually marry someone from a neighboring clan.

My other issue with this movie was the sheer cartoonishness of it. Yes, it is an animated film, but the tone seemed off from previous Pixar films. SO MUCH OF THE DIALOGUE WAS SHOUTED AND UNNECESSARILY LOUD. This, combined with the antics of Merida's triplet brothers and the constant brawling of the visiting clans made this feel more like a Warner Brothers cartoon. The only character who wasn't cartoony: Merida. It felt as though the animators were not having fun with her, despite her fabulous red hair and adventurous spirit. So much energy seemed to be spent on the brothers and the constantly-screaming maid, as well as post-spell Elinor.

As a movie in general, I thought Brave was okay and a positive move towards stronger female characters for young women to recognize. However, as a Pixar film, I thought this was one of the production house's weaker entries.

Magic Mike (2012)

I think it was at the end of 2006 when I last had any sort of encounter with male strippers. Some friends and I were at the local drag show and the interval acts were two amateurs making their debut. The guys covered both ends of the stripper spectrum: one was all "WEEEEE! NAKED TIME!" and took off all his clothes without hesitation, though leaving the tease out of "striptease"; the other took to the stage and instantly registered a look of "oh my God, did I really sign up for this?" as Justin Timberlake's lastest single played in the background. I've never been all that turned on by strippers, and that night confirmed a rule of thumb: All strippers do is ruin good pop songs.

Magic Mike didn't change my mind about strippers or Steven Soderbergh.

The movie, loosely based on star Channing Tatum's stripping past, follows Mike as he hustles his way through life. While working in construction – one of many odd jobs he possesses – Mike meets Adam (Alex Pettyfer), a 19-year-old equally down on his luck. The two run into each other as Mike works the clubs to drum up business for his main odd job: entertaining the desperate housewives and bachelorettes of Tampa by dancing and removing clothing. Alex unwittingly gets dragged into performing and is an instant hit, though requires training and support from the rest of the crew. Mike takes a special interest in protecting "The Kid" after meeting Adam's sister Brooke. Although she doesn't approve of her younger brother's new line of work, she doesn't actively disapprove either.

The movie takes a generational look at the adult entertainment industry. Alex represents the star on the rise. 40-something club owner Dallas (Matthew McConaughey) has made a career out of performing and tries to take it to the next level with an attempted move to Miami. Mike, who is almost 30, is at a crossroad: does he continue to strip (which pays well and he has a knack for) or does he pursue his dream of designing custom furniture?

The story sounds simple because it is. The stakes are relatively low throughout the movie, with most of the drama affecting (and generated by) The Kid. The movie doesn't delve too deeply into the seedier side of the business. Since this is Mike's/Tatum's story, he may be relying on hearsay to describe the grittier parts of the male stripper lifestyle. Because of this – and perhaps to make it clear that nobody is gay (God forbid) – there is a supposed romance brewing between Mike and Brooke. I say supposed because Cody Horn was far and away the worst part of the movie. The lack of chemistry brought on by her flat affect and labored expository line readings had several people in my theater groaning whenever she was on screen.

Although the style of the movie did not particularly scream Soderbergh, the structure of the film tapped in to the technical aspects of why his work drives me nuts. The film has several moments of heavy-handedness while not having much of a point. Some of this has to do with the writing, which included Adam saying to Mike at one point "we should be best friends," because that's totally something people say in real life? While pursuing Brooke, Mike also engages in booty calls with a woman named Joanna (Olivia Munn). Their damaged relationship serves as a needless distraction and a catalyst for Mike's downfall that is unearned and disjointed from the rest of the story.

Although much of the promotion for Magic Mike highlights the supporting cast, I thought they were mostly underutilized. The exceptions are Dallas – which McConaughey played with the appropriate level of smarm – and Tarzan (Kevin Nash). Tarzan is the oldest member of the troupe, and his half-assing through performances is what reminded me of the video from above. Little details such as that and background action (the conversation between Matthew Bomer and Adam Rodriguez in The Kid's introduction to the troupe; Tarzan exercising while Dallas coaches The Kid) make the movie more enjoyable, but demonstrates that the main action is not as interesting.

Overall, the movie is fine but doesn't know what it is. It's not dark or sexy enough for its premise, the stale romance and light moments do not a romantic comedy make, and the stakes are too low for capital-D Drama. I do recommend seeing the movie sooner rather than later – a theater full of women in their 20's watching the dance sequences is a hilarious experience.